Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
