sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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