I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
