ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
