i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
