she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
