Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
