is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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