I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
