Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
