I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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