If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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