Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
