Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
