Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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