He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
