Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He passed out mid-signature
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
