at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
