More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
