She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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