it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
