Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
