i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
