Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
