we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
