Who did Billy Mays play for?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have tasted many bathrooms
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
