so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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