I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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