As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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