i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
