He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
