Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
