Soap is not a condiment
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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