How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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