is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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