i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
