The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
