Fuck appropriateness.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
