Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Someone stole a lamp last night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
