I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I understand Curling. That high.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
