I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
