sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
