She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
