hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
