I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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