i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
