she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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