we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
