I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
home. puking in laundry basket.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
