I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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