Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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