If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
